this is pattern work.
For the patterns that keep showing up in your relationships, decisions and standards.
High-level coaching for individuals who are ready to understand the unconscious structure that is shaping their relationships, decisions, and standards.
This work is not about motivational or surface level change.
It is about recognising the patterns that quietly organise how you think, what you tolerate, and how you move through the world.
When those patterns become visible, change becomes possible.
WHY PATTERNS REPEAT.
WHEN A PATTERN BECOMES CONSCIOUS
Patterns are not personality traits.
They are learned responses.
The brain builds efficiency through repetition.
Thoughts become familiar pathways.
Emotional reactions become automatic sequences. Standards become unconscious defaults.
Over time, those internal patterns shape:
Who you are drawn to
What you tolerate
How you lead
How you over-function or over-compensate
The decisions you justify
And because they feel familiar, they feel true.
But familiarity is not identity. It is conditioning.
This work brings those internal maps into awareness - not to analyse them endlessly, but to restructure them.
When the structure shifts, behaviour follows.
When behaviour shifts, standards rise.
When standards rise, your environment reorganises around them.
That is pattern work.
JOLENE RATHMILL
Founder of Grow Some Boundaries
High-Performance Coach | NLP Practitioner
I didn’t grow up planning to become a coach.
I grew up learning how to navigate people.
In an environment where emotions, tone and behaviour could shift quickly, I became highly attuned to subtle signals - the small changes in energy, expression and intention that most people miss.
What began as hyper-vigilance eventually became perception.
Long before I understood the language of psychology, I was instinctively observing patterns - noticing the behaviours people repeated and what sat beneath them.
Over time that instinctive awareness evolved into a structured understanding of behavioural dynamics, emotional patterns and decision making.
Today my work combines lived experience with formal training in coaching, behavioural psychology and neuroscience-informed change work.
I work with individuals who recognise they are repeating patterns - in relationships, behaviour, emotional responses or compulsive loops such as anxiety, OCD or addiction - and want to understand what is actually driving them.
Together we identify the root cause beneath the pattern and create the clarity required to change it.
Because once the root cause is seen, the pattern can finally change.
My professional background
Alongside my independent coaching practice, I also work as a certified high-performance Results Coach within one of the world’s leading personal development organisations, supporting clients internationally across leadership, relationships and personal development.
Over the years I have worked with a wide range of individuals - from entrepreneurs and elite athletes to couples, families and teenagers — each navigating their own challenges, ambitions and behavioural patterns.
Earlier in my career I worked within community programmes connected to professional football clubs including Bolton Wanderers and Wigan Athletic, supporting young people in building confidence, communication and self-awareness.
Through both group work and one-to-one coaching I developed a deep understanding of emotional regulation, learning diversity and behavioural dynamics, including working with individuals with ADHD, and different ways of thinking, focusing and interacting with the world.
Alongside formal training, my work continues to be influenced by leading voices in behavioural psychology and trauma-informed practice, particularly the work of Gabor Maté, whose insights into how early experiences shape adult patterns deeply inform my perspective.
How I work
My work sits at the intersection of behavioural psychology, strategic coaching and human dynamics.
I combine deep perceptive work with practical frameworks that help people:
• Recognise unconscious behavioural patterns
• Strengthen personal boundaries
• Develop emotional regulation
• Make clearer decisions
• Raise their personal standards
The aim is not simply insight.
The aim is structural change.
Because when the underlying patterns shift, the direction of a person’s life can shift with them.
work with jolene
This work is for individuals who recognise that patterns in their life are repeating — in relationships, leadership, decision-making or emotional responses — and want to understand what is actually driving them.
The first step is a Clarity Session, where we identify the pattern currently shaping your situation and explore whether deeper work together is the right next step.
WHO THIS WORK IS FOR
This work tends to resonate with people who recognise that something in their life keeps repeating.
Not because they lack intelligence, effort or ambition. But because the underlying patterns shaping their decisions remain unseen.
Often they are:
• High-functioning professionals or entrepreneurs
• People others rely on
• Individuals who carry responsibility well but privately feel stuck in repeating dynamics
They may recognise patterns such as:
• Over-functioning in relationships or work
• Difficulty holding boundaries without guilt
• Repeating relationship dynamics
• Anxiety, control patterns or emotional reactivity
• High achievement paired with internal pressure
They are not looking for motivation.
They are looking for understanding.
Because once the structure of a pattern becomes visible, change becomes possible.